I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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