We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
