so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize