BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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