We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
