i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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