Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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