Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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