dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
