Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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