woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
These tits shall not be calmed
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
