We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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