I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
