Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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