and she was petting her beer can
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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