I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
