ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
