Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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