1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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