So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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