She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
