So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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