Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
