I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
