First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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