so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
