Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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