Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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