Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
