Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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