She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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