I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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