Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
