This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize