based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
