Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize