I have demons in me.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
