The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
