I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
