Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
