meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
