also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
