All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
