The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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