Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
