It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
