Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
