did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
