every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
