My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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