Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
