U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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