U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
