You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
