Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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