he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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