So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
