I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
