I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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