Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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