I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
