ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
pray to the hookup gods
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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