You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
