Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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