you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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