Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
