we have pet lesbian snakes
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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