the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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