Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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