It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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