hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
